Keep Yourself Together
by dapperwitch715
Summary: Blaine Anderson is anything but fortunate. Financially he is barely scraping by, working as many hours as he can so he can afford his shabby apartment just inside the school district. But this struggling teen has a gift, a gift for music that he isn't allowed to show to the world because he is forced to put all his time and energy into what his family should do for him.


**This is set in early fall, mid-October. And it is AU. Let me know what you think so I know if I want to continue :)**

* * *

"Get out, now. Get out!"

"I never want to see you again. Get out."  
"You disgust me."  
"Get out of my house you faggot!"  
"You are not my son."

Blaine shoots up in his bed, breathing heavily as he fumbles slightly with the shade-less lamp beside his mattress. Light surrounds him as he looks around, trying to remember where he is. A few tears run down his face as he runs his fingers through his dark hair taking a deep breath. He reaches over to grab his cell phone and looks to see the time, sighing slightly, it was 4:30 A.M, he might as well get up now.

With a reluctant sigh the dark haired boy stood up on the single mattress that lay on the floor and stretched out slightly. Shivering slightly he folded up his fleece blanket and lay it atop his pillow before walking across the room to the cardboard box and fumbling through the small assortment of clothes to pull out a plain white t-shirt and the pair of jeans that were thrown to the dirty floor beside the box.

"Shit," he mumbles as he tries to brush some of the dirt off of the jeans as he walks to the small bathroom.

He doesn't bother to close the door as he strips out of his improve pajamas of his boxer briefs and t-shirt before turning on the water. The water was cold as it ran over his finger tips under the slightly rusted faucet and he sighs as he realizes he doesn't have time to wait for the water to warm, it always took too long. He stepped into the small shower and lets the cold water cascade down his body, barely wincing at the familiar temperature.

About 15 minutes later Blaine is already out in the cool November air, walking toward the bus stop outside his apartment. He pulls the sleeves of his thin sweatshirt over his hands as he shivers. It was freezing, and Blaine immediately regretted not bringing a thicker jacket, now he'd have to buy a new one. With a sigh he climbs onto the city bus to take it to work, and then later to school.

Blaine was eternally thankful for his boss' flexibility with his working schedule. She understood the boy's situation, and allowed him to open the shop every morning, so he would be able to keep up with his school work by taking the earlier shift after school shift. He yawned and rested his forehead against the window of the bus, letting his eyes fall shut. Maybe he could get a little bit more sleep on the 25 minute bus ride to the Lima Bean.

"Shit, sorry man. I didn't mean to make you wait. Steph was late so I had to wait until she came in, I'm so sorry," he apologizes quickly as he climbs into the car, eyebrows pulled together in concern.

The other boy just laughs and rolls his eyes before restarting his pick-up truck and pulling out of the parking lot. "It's fine Blaine, really. I get it."  
Blaine sighs in relief as he fastens his seatbelt and smiles at his friend, "Thanks Noah, for the rides and...helping. It means a lot."

Noah Puckerman punches his shoulder playfully, "No problem, you sold me your axe, I owe you."

"Yeah I guess you're right, I sold you my baby," he smiles and laughs before looking out the window smiling sadly as he plays with the shoulder strap of his tattered backpack.

They drove in silence for the rest of their journey to the school, not needing to fill the silence with pointless small talk. That's one reason Blaine liked hanging around Noah, he never asked specific questions. All he knew was that Blaine didn't have a car, and he wasn't in the ideal money situation. But he was more than willing to help him by giving him rides to and from school, which Blaine was very grateful for. When Noah parked the car Blaine moved to open his door but the driver wouldn't unlock the doors so he turned to him questioningly.

"Just hear me out okay," he says looking at the curly haired boy seriously.

Blaine didn't know what was going to be said, but he was slightly nervous about it, "Alright," he says cautiously.

"I think you should try out for glee club," he states simply, for about the sixth time since the day they met.

And, just like the other five times the idea was brought up Blaine rolled his eyes and unlocks his door himself and begins to get out of the car, "I don't have time Noah, I'm sorry."

With a sigh Noah gets out as well and asks him to just think about it before running off to catch up to a group of jocks. Blaine sighs and pulls his sweatshirt back over his head, because he'd taken it off in the hot car. He began to walk toward the school with his backpack over his shoulder.

He takes his old, second generation iPod out of this pocket and pops in his ear-buds. His thumb glides over the dial as he cranks up the volume and hits play, tuning out the rest of the world. Blaine opens his locker and quickly changes his books before slamming his locker shut. He nearly falls over when he sees a pair of familiar blue eyes that he had not noticed standing behind his locker.

"Sh—Hey Kurt," he says in surprise, eyes slightly wide in surprise.

They had recently become pretty good friends, they had quite a few classes together, and Kurt was always kind with him. Being the new kid senior year was a little stressful, but the brown haired boy tried to make him feel welcomed at least. He pulled his earbuds out of his ears, knowing he'd have to at least attempt to be social for a few minutes.

"Hello," Kurt says with a casual smile, "how was your night?" the boy asks.

Blaine shrugs as he wraps his earbuds around his iPod before shoving it into his pocket, "Fine, uneventful, yours?" he asks, trying to suppress the instinctual eye-roll at the small talk.

Then Kurt begins to babble on about something that had to do with a musical or something along those lines as they walk down the hall toward their first hour class. Blaine tries to focus on the boy's words but he is too tired, and can't really focus, so he focuses on Kurt. The boy had an…odd effect on him. He couldn't figure out whether or not he liked him, but he couldn't deny the chemistry. But Kurt was a very talkative person, and it didn't mesh very well with his instinctual aversion to conversation. Despite his insecurities when it came to conversation, he is secretly grateful. If Kurt didn't ask about his day, or go out of his way to make conversation, Blaine wouldn't have made many, if any, friends in his new school.

"—and then I was just like 'Rachel you can't expect me to do that', and…Blaine. Blaine? Blaine," he suddenly hears Kurt's voice shatter through his trance and his hazel eyes flash up to Kurt's blue eyes. "Are you even listening to me?" he asks, slightly frustrated, but also a little bit of worry etched in his face.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. I just…zoned out. Tired," he says grimacing slightly, "you were saying?"

Kurt sighs and just waves his hand in the air once in dismissal of the topic, "Nevermind, its not important…you sure you're okay," he looks at the shorter boy in concern.

"I'm cool, no worries," he says as they walk into their history classroom. He slouches down into his chair in the back of the room.

The taller boy follows after him, sitting down in the chair in front of him before turning around to look at him. He looked at Blaine in concern, obviously not convinced by the boy's halfhearted response. Blaine tries to ignore the way Kurt was looking at him, and focused his eyes on the blackboard as the teacher began to scribble across it.

"Mr. Hummel, care to turn around and listen to the lesson," barked the teacher, causing Kurt to blush and immediately turn to face the front of the room, mumbling an apology.

Blaine relaxes in his seat and sighs when he no longer feels the intense blue eyes boring into his own. He rests his elbow on his desk, cupping his cheek in the palm of his hand. His stubble scratches slightly against his skin and he internally curses himself for forgetting to shave. With a sigh he flips open is notebook and begins to copy the notes from the board as the teacher begins his lecture.

Blaine sighs as he strips down, wrapping a towel around his waist as he begins to make his way toward the gym showers. He'd just left the gym after a rigorous work out, and he needed to take a shower before he went to work. He turned on the water, smiling softly as the warm water rolls off his hand, just wanting to stay under the water forever. With a small smile still on his lips, Blaine steps into the shower, leaving his towel on the hook outside the shower. Humming quietly he hummed a tune under his breath, letting the warm water sooth his aching muscles. However, as the boy begins to sing, he doesn't notice the door of the locker-room open and close. He taps his foot as he begins to sing the song that has become all too familiar.

Hey dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that I'm alright  
And you can't change me

cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero  
All the days you spent with me  
Now you seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright

cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again (right again)  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you  
But you don't understand (you don't understand)

cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

As the song draws to a close he wipes at his eyes, not wanting to cry and shuts off the water. He wraps the towel back around his waist before walking back toward his gym locker so we could change. Blaine hadn't expected there to be anyone in the locker room, so he didn't bother to look up as he started fumbling with his clothes in his locker.

"Was..Was that you," he hears a familiar voice ask.

Blaine stiffens slightly before turning too look at the other boy, "Yeah…um…why are you here Kurt?"


End file.
